Mommie has been feeling quite down.

First, her nausea is still sticking around, and she's still feeling her energy sapped by all the puking and giddiness everyday.

Second, she finally received the letter of acceptance from NIE. She's been offered a place for the masters course that she was originally planning to embark on next year. But upon receiving the package, it finally dawned on her that she may well be spending about 5k+ and not be able to complete the modules. She's still not quite sure if there would be any birth related complications in the third trimester (ya, who would know!), and if she would be able to sit thru' the lessons and faithfully complete her assignments. It's been her dream to go further her studies so that she could do something else rather than just teach. And she's been starting to enjoy the job she's doing. But now, she's got to make that decision to decide what her career's going to be in the future. That's pretty tough.

She's thus also weighing losing the 5k+ (if she cant complete the modules) and losing 4 months of maternity leave pay (which amounts to more than 10k), against going back as a teacher (and getting all the benefits, aka money) and possibly staying as a teacher for a while.

It doesn't help when granny keeps harping on the fact that she's a woman and shd just go back to teaching, be contented with meagre pay (not that an EP at PSB earns a lot tho'), and give her family more priority.

Yes, mommie is terribly stressed now. She's gotta make a decision (again), and it's possibly a lifetime decision. While many say studies can probably wait, no one could possibly understand that if she goes back to school now, she probably has no chance to work at PSB anymore (not to say it's entirely enjoyable working there, but mommie does get a chance to work on more needy cases), and that it'd take her a while before she could get back to school again to fulfil her long term goal of becoming an educational psychologist.

However, there's also a voice in her to tell her to just go back to school, get her pay, and be contented with life.

Sigh. Such is life, full of uncertainties. Dreams and goals versus reality. How miserable!